January 15, 2012 § Leave a comment

This is a powerful beast. He is so convinced of his own reality that trying to show him a different perspective is nearly impossible. He owns every imaginable tool that can measure, qualify and quantify in order to know exactly what anything is. Upon visiting this blog he insisted on providing you with the “real” meanings of each beast. I agreed only on the condition that my observations would come first. He said, “Fine, but mine will be in blue – a color far more precise than black.”

1. The formal statement of the meaning or significance of a word, phrase, idiom, etc., as found in dictionaries.



December 16, 2011 § 1 Comment

These beasts appear to be very confusing and terrible communicators. However, they are very intelligent (some more than others) and love puzzles. Playing with riddles is a fantastic way to fill free hours of your time as you will be pleasantly surprised and entertained. This Riddle (which I tried to buckle down for you to see) was Gollum’s companion:

Alive without breath,
As cold as death;
Never thirsty, ever drinking,
All in mail never clinking.


1. a question or statement so framed as to exercise one’s ingenuity in answering it or discovering its meaning; conundrum.


November 27, 2011 § 2 Comments

Euphony is the mother of all sirens. Her song is the sweetest and most  harmonic sound ever to enter the ears of human or beast. It is not just the melody that is appealing, but also her incredible command of poetry in song. She is step-sister to Cacophony, but they haven’t spoken in years. It is rumored that Euphony is only the name she is using in this Age. Some believe she is actually Vakhari, one of the four Goddesses of language whose only known weakness is an addiction to the poetry of Samuel Taylor Coleridge, specifically for his poem Kubla Khan.


1. Agreeableness of sound; pleasing effect to the ear, especially a pleasant sounding or harmonious combination or succession of words: the majestic euphony of Milton’s poetry.


November 19, 2011 § Leave a comment

Morphemes are small timid beasts. They prefer being in the company of other Morphemes. They are some of the smallest creatures in Grammarland, as you can see by the scale of this Morpheme next to my tea cup. Each Morpheme has its own unique sound form every other Morpheme. Some of the more common ones you’ll hear squeaking away are, “er, est, ex, il, inter, less” and “sub”.


1. Any of the minimal grammatical units of a language, each constituting a word or meaningful part of a word, that cannot be divided into smaller independent grammatical parts, as the, write,  or the -ed  of waited.


November 13, 2011 § Leave a comment

An elusive beast full of deception, red herrings and ego. When you encounter this beast you will find yourself bamboozedled by a vocabulary that is thick and often impenetrable. The good news is that most of it is just smoke and mirrors. Often, Jargon is actually saying something quite simple and just dressing it up to look smarter – similar to the way some lizards puff up flaps of skin to make themselves look bigger. When you encounter this beast try to see through the fancy get-up and get to the point. The best course of action is to be direct and plain – do not antagonize it, a Jargon with a wounded ego is a dangerous beast. This Jargon is Literary Theory.


1. The language, especially the vocabulary, peculiar to a particular trade, profession, or group: medical jargon.


October 25, 2011 § Leave a comment

Myth is Theory‘s sister. She is a little more reliable than her metaphysical sibling, but often the truths of Myth are buried in obscure stories that have to be unraveled before they can provide tangible knowledge. Because of this, she is a great storyteller and my only word of caution in regards to this beast is that you don’t let her wrap you up in a tale so grand and compelling that you forget time. Some travelers have encountered her, only to reappear centuries later, lost in the denouement of a fantastic story woven for them by Myth.


1. A traditional or legendary story, usually concerning some being or hero or event, with or without a determinable basis of fact or a natural explanation, especially one that is concerned with deities or demigods and explains some practice, rite, or phenomenon of nature.


October 16, 2011 § Leave a comment

Metaphors can be tricky beasts to spot. However, the avid metaphor watcher knows that a metaphor is usually trying to be two things at once. Most metaphors are very insecure and therefore have trouble saying exactly what they mean. They are shy – especially when it comes to emotions. Rather than just come right out and say, “I love you” they will become a symbol of that emotion, like love being a rose (as seen here). This metaphor is a relative of Cliché  and is easy to spot. Younger metaphors are not so well-known and are truly glorious to behold…have you spotted one you’d like to share?


1. A  figure of speech in which a term or phrase is applied to something to which it is not literally applicable in order to suggest a resemblance

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