Demonstratives

December 26, 2010 § Leave a comment

They are cunning creatures that have mastered the art of drawing attention away from themselves in order to steal specific things. The U.N. has a list of the demonstratives that are still at large and warn you not to be distracted. Some of the more notorious ones are This, That, These and Those. Thayze and Thooze have been locked up in a secret prison located somewhere underground beneath current day Alcatraz. Some of their favorite things to pilfer are single socks, car keys, nail clippers and the last beer in the fridge.

When you are about to leave the house and your bags are packed, the kids are clothed, and you’re at the door, a demonstrative will whisper in your ear something like, “Look at this burner on the stove that has been left on.” While you turn around to check the stove, the demonstrative will hide your car keys just for the pleasure of watching you curse and swear that you just put your keys down on the table.

They are not wholly irredeemable creatures though, as eventually they do feel guilty and will put your keys somewhere where you will find them, but swear you never left them. If you never find your keys, it was not a demonstrative behind the loss, only your own stupidity for putting your keys somewhere you’d never think to look for them.

1. Indicating or singling out the thing referred to

 

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